First, let me get this off my chest: Taking “fruits” and “veggies” in a pill form is not the same as eating
your fruits and vegetables. We’ve been seeing adds for these powdered, desiccated supplements and
we want to assure you that the real thing, the fresher the better, is what you need for long-term health.
As we’ve mentioned before in the blog, you get all sorts of goodness from fresh produce. You want to
literally eat the life of the plant, the phytochemicals that allow it to grow and reproduce.
That leads me to the main topic of today’s blog: Thanksgiving. Our foremothers intuitively understood
the importance of serving colorful produce. Our thanksgiving feast is not complete without the winter
squash, sweet potatoes, green bean casserole, pear and pomegranate salad, and, of course, crudité for a
starter. Eat crunch and color, and plenty of it. Let your thanksgiving meal inform your food choices for
now and the coming year.
To reiterate: Eat your freakin’ vegetables!

We never gave much credence to “gateway drugs” like marijuana putting children on the road to drug addiction for life. That idea just doesn’t seem plausible. But what about Halloween candy as the “gateway drug” leading to months of overeating from October until Valentine’s Day? Possible? My partner, Sharon, and I have talked about it and we think we can see a pattern over the years.

The holiday season can be equally full of joy and full of anxiety. Much is expected of us during this time—decorating, gifting, hosting—and none of us is Martha Stewart! We don’t know about you, but anxiety brings on the munchies, and the two of us never go for the fruits and veggies when we are stressed. For us it’s nuts, cookies, candy, and cheese, the quad-fecta of reliable weight gain.

So, what can we do during this joyous/stressful time of year? One great strategy is to calm-the-heck-down. There is always yoga and meditation to take the edge off, but our best approach is to address the problem directly: Stop procrastinating and get organized. Making lists and checking items off, just like Santa, may give you a sense of completion and calm you need, assuring that you will make it until February 14 without blowing up the scale. Happy Organized Holidays!

Just the other day, I had a wave of well-being wash over me: It said “I’m fine just the way I am. No need to work on changing.” Well, that feeling lasted all of a minute, and I was back to scheming about, you guessed it, how and when to lose 10 pounds.

Based on my experience alone, I think women automatically think of their bodies as a project, something to constantly improve or shape. They may or may not change eating and exercise habits in response to the impulse, but they are always thinking about it.

I worry that thinking about one’s body as a life-long project takes needed energy away from one’s development in other areas: social, civic, philanthropic, personal, and intellectual. In our book, we quote an author who asserts that “Your body is not your masterpiece; your life is.”

I don’t have any advice on how to silence the constant clamor in one’s head about how to improve or change one’s body. I hear it in my inner dialogue every minute of every day. I just wanted to write and alert you to it, in case too much of your energy is going into this relatively small facet of your life.

Did you ever have a period of time in your life when you needed to really focus on one facet or task? In spite of Americans’ belief in multitasking, human beings are not very good at that. And that is true of me. Five weeks since knee replacement surgery, I am focused on completing my exercises, going to PT, and building my endurance with regular walks. There doesn’t seem to be an iota of space in my brain to attend to weight issues.

That doesn’t mean I’m completely ignoring intake or the scale. They just are not the priority that they have been in months past. I’m glad to get on the scale each day and smile that I am holding steady—that’s now a habit. And I do pay attention to what goes into my mouth. Another habit. I make sure to move my body several times each week. Yet another habit. All of these habits are serving me well at a time when habits take over because attention is elsewhere.

You all know that Karen and I are writing the Stop Losing and Win book. Throughout the book we talk about (1) forming new habits, (2) being realistic about what you can and cannot change, (3) maintaining a healthy and relaxed attitude about your body, (4) loving yourself at every weight and size, and (5) reconceptualizing weight management as a do-able task that takes some time and attention. Our own successes prove that these five objectives can be met by ordinary human beings. Yes, after four years of maintenance, I have the habits that weight management requires. No need for cognitive intervention at the moment.

I’m a firm believer that in order to change, you need to first accept yourself as you are. This is, admittedly, a fancy hat trick. With all that self-love, why change? Where will the motivation to change come from if you feel fine as you are? In spite of these arguments, I still think that permanent changes cannot take hold when the motivating factor is self-hatred and deep dissatisfaction. Those forces are negative, and you need positive energy, and lots of it, to make a change in your life.

Motivational interviewing is a counseling method designed to help people make changes. You can make use of some of the powerful techniques of MI with easy exercises. I generally suggest that people self-counsel, replacing the therapist with their journal. The next time you have a spare hour, ask yourself questions about the change you want to make, why you want to make it, how your life might be different if you change, and factors that might facilitate or impede change. Look at what you wrote. If you detect a desire to change, a need to change, and a commitment to making the change, you are well on your way.

As I said, it is my belief that change is paradoxical: You can only change when you have fully accepted yourself as you are. Self-acceptance doesn’t mean you don’t want to change. You may very much want the change, not because you hate the “status quo” but because you know your life can be even better. I apply these principles to my weight management behaviors, happily eating well and exercising to support my change, not as denial or self-punishment. After all, you catch more change with honey, am I right?

My knee replacement is one week away and I’m scurrying around getting the medications and equipment that will keep me sane and functional in the weeks and months that follow. I try to keep some perspective about these surgeries being just a couple of pages in a chapter in a book about my life, but these pages seem to loom and dance, doing funny things to my personal sense of perspective. Time rushes by and then just sits there, stale and nasty, like a pile of garbage, this week-span of anticipation taking forever and being right on top of me, all at the same time.

In a crisis, how do I deal with weight management? Well, my scrupulous attention to health and fitness takes a back seat to emotion-management, that is for certain. For example, I had a bowl of ice cream after dinner last night and a brownie earlier in the day, two acts that would not have been unheard-of in my previous life, but certainly rare. We have treats, but on special occasion. I guess this is just such an occasion. So, there’s the appearance of desserts on the menu. What else? My activity level is much less as I settle in to my body, temporarily disabled, first by arthritis, second by surgeries.

What can we take away from this particular lesson? First, life requires flexibility. None of us is going to be able to consistently apply every principle of healthy living every page of our lives. Some of life’s pages require special consideration. Giving ourselves permission to ride out a crisis does not have to mean a permanent lifestyle of daily dessert-eating and lying around on the couch like a chubby seal. But these behaviors may be just the ticket in the moment. Second, time does funny things in a crisis, elongating and truncating, changing our perspective. Why not take this opportunity to tune into what the body and mind need in the moment? This knowledge will serve us well when the crisis is over, helping us to sort needs from wants and momentary impulses from our true goals.

I’m 67 years old and I’m coming up on knee replacement surgery. I have no doubts that weighing 50 pounds more for a decade was one cause of my eroding joints, but I have maintained a much lower weight for years now. I have done myself a favor, maybe more than one. I choose to look at the behaviors that have benefitted me over the years such as regular exercise, a better BMI, and a diet that is bursting with nutrition. I can’t get away from the fact that my knees are “blown out,” but I can honor all of the good things I have done for myself.

As I face weeks of incapacitation, I will remember to continue to eat nutritious and delicious meals. I will move as much as I can, making my physical therapist proud. I will keep my head screwed on straight, knowing that my bionic knees will eventually be able to do things I have not been able to accomplish in years: Climb a hill, descend the stairs, step off the curb without pain. Three months from now, I will be saying, “Yes, I have done myself a favor” as I gracefully amble up from my seat on the floor to my full height, a physical feat I have not accomplished in years.

Or

How to Deal with “Compliance Fatigue”

Yes, I strive to eat right and to exercise—every day. And my long-range plan is to stay quite healthy and
active as I age. All this is true AND I definitely need a break from living right—right now!
Since 2016, I have been eating right and exercising, striving to lose and then to maintain my weight.
That’s six years of cheerfully hopping on the scale every morning, mindfully munching my fruits and
vegetables, and willingly working out with Elliot, my chubby-funny YMCA strength-building guru who can
be found on YouTube. Which leads me to a pressing question: Can I please have a break?
What is it about vigilance? Why do I just feel fatigued as I consider the number on the scale this morning
(which I didn’t like)? I think I get it: Eating right and exercising fall right into place quite nicely when all of
the “metrics” are cooperating. The moment the scale starts shifting upward, motivation goes right out
the window. This is a phenomenon I have seen with other people, and now it’s manifesting in my own
life: “I don’t want to.”
Knowing that “compliance fatigue” is a “thing” is actually helpful. Motivation runs out once you punch a
whole in it with bad news. What to do? Well, today, I will load my plate with lovely fruits and vegetables,
take a long walk, and let the motivation kick in when it will.

When was the last time you popped a multivitamin, thinking “I didn’t eat well today, but this ought to make up for it”? Can the vitamins you get at your local health food store compensate for a lack of greens, yellows, oranges, reds, and purples in your diet? The answer, sadly, is no.

I know, the two of us exhort and cajole you to eat more fruits and vegetables at least once each month. Why is that? Well, from our perspective, they are delicious, nutritious, and low in calories. At least, that’s how we were thinking about eating produce when we came across a publication by Friedman and Friedman (2022). These scientists made a stunning case for eating plants. The authors explained that plants have literally hundreds of phytonutrients, far more than the dozen or so listed on your multivitamin bottle. All minimally processed plant foods—fruits, vegetables, whole grains, beans, mushrooms, yeast, algae, coffee, tea, and spices—contain these compounds, nutrients that directly impact you and your health.

Just like the vitamins and minerals that have been studied in some depth, phytonutrients appear to do some amazing things in our brains and bodies. For example, we know that phytonutrients have a positive impact on the immune system, glucose regulation, insulin secretion, and even cognition. The study of these compounds is in its infancy, but the next time you have a choice between a cookie and a nice, juicy peach, you have one more reason to choose the peach.

Research coming out of the United Kingdom provides unequivocal information about a good diet and
exercise plan: To improve your health and live a long, healthy life you need both. Those with good
exercise habits who neglect a healthy diet run into cardiovascular problems down the road. Those who
eat a great diet filled with fruits and vegetables, nuts and grains, who avoid exercise face health
problems as they age. For real wellness, having both an exercise regimen and a good diet are key.
We have been amazed when people tell us that they use exercise to “burn off” a rich dessert or buttery
pasta dish. All of us have been conditioned to think about food and exercise in terms of calories, not the
multitude of other benefits they bring us. For example, a healthy diet is literally brimming with
thousands of phytonutrients, nutritional gifts we get directly from the plants we eat. Exercise does much
more than burn excess energy, it builds our muscles, strengthens our core, improves our cardiovascular
fitness, and brightens our mood.
Exercise and diet are two sides of a coin. Although calories are involved, by no means is consuming and
burning energy the main event in terms of your health. Instead, a good diet and plenty of exercise is
your insurance policy for a long and healthy life. Calories-shmalories: What we need is enough self-love
and respect for our bodies that we naturally want to take care of them.