I’m a firm believer that in order to change, you need to first accept yourself as you are. This is, admittedly, a fancy hat trick. With all that self-love, why change? Where will the motivation to change come from if you feel fine as you are? In spite of these arguments, I still think that permanent changes cannot take hold when the motivating factor is self-hatred and deep dissatisfaction. Those forces are negative, and you need positive energy, and lots of it, to make a change in your life.
Motivational interviewing is a counseling method designed to help people make changes. You can make use of some of the powerful techniques of MI with easy exercises. I generally suggest that people self-counsel, replacing the therapist with their journal. The next time you have a spare hour, ask yourself questions about the change you want to make, why you want to make it, how your life might be different if you change, and factors that might facilitate or impede change. Look at what you wrote. If you detect a desire to change, a need to change, and a commitment to making the change, you are well on your way.
As I said, it is my belief that change is paradoxical: You can only change when you have fully accepted yourself as you are. Self-acceptance doesn’t mean you don’t want to change. You may very much want the change, not because you hate the “status quo” but because you know your life can be even better. I apply these principles to my weight management behaviors, happily eating well and exercising to support my change, not as denial or self-punishment. After all, you catch more change with honey, am I right?
Stop Losing and Win 