Weight Management is Not a Religion

                Having tried and failed many times to manage our weight, we intimately understand how failure feels. Weight management becomes a moral goal, and any lapse in adherence to the behavioral standard we set for ourselves becomes a moral failing—a blot on our character. Let’s unpack this idea.

                Karen and I lost a substantial amount of weight and have been maintaining for several years. We have come to see weight management as a game of strategy, not a moral imperative. So, weight management shifts from an all-or-nothing, zero-sum game to a game of strategy. What lifestyle components can I manipulate to get the effect I want? How do I think about myself when the numbers go up on the scale (and eventually, they will)? How do I (re)define success so that the ups and downs of weight management can be defined as success?

                Maintenance, by definition, is keeping the boat steady, and losing weight is rowing the boat in a certain direction. Either way, you want to be in the boat. What do most people do when the scale goes up? They jump overboard. During the COVID-19 pandemic, we both lost our access to the gym. We both had too many hours in front of televisions, books, and screens and near our kitchens. Hence: we both put on some weight. Our strategies? We gradually figured out how to get more exercise (essential for maintenance) and re-adjust our eating (less snacking). This didn’t happen overnight. It took months to figure out how to steady the boat. We strategized with each other and exercised self-compassion. We patiently (and sometimes impatiently) waited for our strategies to work. When they didn’t work, we moved on to a different tactic. We tried various new things—I went on the Noom plan, doubled my exercise, and developed a water habit. Karen picked up new exercise classes.

                So much of success has to do with mindset! If you think of weight management as a game, you will take a tactical approach. If you think of it as a religion, you will self-flagellate when your weight re-adjusts. You’ll be tempted to throw yourself overboard. We like our strategic approach better, don’t you?